He Never Came
by ChocoPokkin
Summary: Mello never came back to collect his redheaded lover, their lives split and Matt went down the wrong path that leads to his death. As he dies, he experiences the flash where he relives moments in his life. Matt Oneshot. Rated T for language.


_Hey everyone, it's you friendly neighborhood Jaunt here with a bit of background on the story. I've been writing Death Note fanfics for a few months now but we never really knew what happened to Matt when Mello left so this is the "what if" story. The sad ending of a Matt that never had Mello come back. _

_Update: I've been sick with the stomach flu since Thursday… The 4__th__. Yay! But I'm getting better. My birthday is in five days… Scary. I'll be 20… I'M SO FUCKING OLD! _

_Keep reading, keep reviewing, keep loving, keep being awesome!_

_-Jaunt_

He Never Came

It's cold... So, so cold. Snow fell slowly to the ground as I stumbled forward in a haze. People walked by me as if I didn't exist but really, did I? Was there any life after abandonment? After the heart had died and withered away in your chest can you even be called alive? Can trudging through day to day with no meaning be worth it? "Mello," I whispered as I turned blindly down an alley way, "Oh god Mello." My foot caught under snow hidden debris and I pitched forward onto the freezing ground. I had no will to get up.

Mello's blue eyes, his soft blonde hair with not so much as a curl in it, his wry smile and the way his porcelain skin seemed to glow even in the absence of light. That was what I saw as I closed my eyes. The cold wrapped around me in a welcomed embrace… I was ready.

_XxX~~~XxX_

_ "Hey wait for me!" A small red head called after his friend. That was me when I was only seven, a few years after I had been taken to the orphanage for gifted individuals. I turned, seeing as a third party, and saw the sassy look that crossed his friend's face. Mello's face. _

_ "Don't be such a little bitch Matty, hurry up!" He turned away from the young me following him and kept going at the pace he had before. Matt started running to catch up and finally did, "Took you long enough you idiot."_

_ "Sorry." Mello glanced at Matt out of the corner of his eye without the shorter boy noticing and a grin crossed his face. "What are we doing again?" _

_ "We're stealing Near's-" He was cut off by a hand grabbing him by the back of the neck and another grabbing Matt. _

_ "Looky here, we caught a couple o' douche bags." The gruff voice of Alexander said and then laughed. His cronies laughed stupidly with him as he dropped Mello to the ground. Matt was being held tight, pain crossed my young face but there was nothing I could do. "Kick the crap outta him." Alexander commanded and the bigger boys started attacking Mello on the ground. No sounds were made a blow after blow landed on his body but Matt was cussing up a storm and trying to get free. "Seems like the littlest douche bag wants some too!" _

_ "Don't you touch him!" Mello growled from the ground, obviously in pain. _

_ "I'm gonna make his one extra hard." Alexander said to Matt contemptuously. A small whimper came from the younger me as a bone cracking blow was landed in his stomach. He was dropped and Alexander started roaring with ruckus laughter, "Look at the little bitch! He's crying! Ha!"_

_ "I warned you not to touch him!" Mello suddenly yelled and attacked the bigger boy from behind. They crashed to the ground but it didn't take long for the blonde to beat Alexander into a pulp. His friends had disappeared as soon as Mello had attacked. "Hey, don't cry. You'll be alright." Mell's soft voice said as he picked Matt up from the ground. "I won't let them hurt you ever again." _

_XxX~~~XxX_

_ The nine year old version of me leaned against the bathroom counter to get a better look at a bruised and bleeding black eye, "Shit." He winced as he touched it. Alexander had caught him alone and managed to get in a pretty damn good punch before he had gotten away._

_ "Matt, hey Matt! You in there?" A familiar voice called at the door. Matt's expression was fearful for a moment even though he knew it wasn't Alexander but Mello was twice as terrifying. _

_ "Yeah, I'm in here." He finally called. _

_ "Doing what?" _

_ "What the hell do you think I'm doing?!" There was a pause as Mello analyzed Matt's tone. _

_ "Let me in." _

_ "Fuckin' a Mello, I'm takin' a shit!" _

_ "I'll break down the fucking door!" _

_ "Like hell, I don't care!" There was a loud bang that made even me jump as I watched the scene from the bathtub. Two more bangs and the door slammed open to reveal an angry Mello. He moved to Matt's side and turned his head to face his own, "Alexander again?" The young me only nodded. "I'll get him back." _

_XxX~~~XxX_

_ "Shhhhh, it was just a dream. Calm down Matty." A gentle voice soothed in the dark, "It was just a dream. Don't cry." _

_XxX~~~XxX_

_ The Matt sitting on the bed was fourteen now playing a hand held game when the door banged open, "Mother fucking Near! He did it again! He beat me! HOW?! God Damn it all! Fuck! FUCK! FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK!" Mello stomped around angrily and kicked the wall. "HOW?! How does he do it every time that little sheep?! It's not fair! I studied night and day! That asshole! I'll kill him!" _

_ "Mells, calm down."_

_ "Calm down?! Don't you tell me to calm down! Fuck you!" Mello's back hand whipped across Matt's face with a crack that made me wince from the corner where I watched. Mello seethed for a moment then realized what he had done and jumped onto the bed to hold his friend, "I'm sorry… Oh shit Matty I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." _

_ " 'sokay." Matt said and looked at the person he trusted most in the world, "You didn't mean it." _

_ "No it's not okay. You didn't deserve that." They shared a look and I knew what was coming. Matt looked up and they were kissing. _

_XxX~~~XxX_

_ The most painful memory. Fifteen years old looking out the window. I stood over Matt and watched the same scene as Mello's retreating form disappeared forever from Wammy. _

_XxX~~~XxX_

_ Matt. Alone. Packing the few things he still had. He was leaving. Only three days after Mello had left Matt was leaving too. A few changes of clothing, a few of his handhelds, his laptop. That was all he would take. _

_ He left the same way Mello did. On foot. I followed him as he went down through the great iron gates and into the real world. If only he had known what he'd get himself into. _

_XxX~~~XxX_

_ Sixteen years old. Marijuana. Cocaine. Heroin. Ecstasy. LSD. Meth. Opium. PCP. You named it, I did it. _

_ "You don't know WHAT you mean!" Someone giggled in the high powered club. Matt lazed around on the ground up against the wall as some girl kissed his neck. I wanted to pull them apart but I was nothing more than a ghost to the memory. _

_ "Damn." Matt said as his eyes looked around the place, "I need a fuckin' drink." _

_ "Come to my place." The girl on his lap said. He staged upward and they left together, high as two kites. I followed them out to watch the biggest mistake come down. _

_ They went to the girl's apartment and got it on, Matt not knowing she was HIV positive. Time sped through and I stood next to him as he lay across a couch tripping on LSD. So many drugs. _

_ I didn't want to see more. I knew what I'd see. More drugs, more alcohol, more sex and more parties. _

XxX~~~XxX

"I dun fucked up real bad." I whispered as I felt myself slipping.

"Yeah, you did." An angelic voice said. I forced my 20 year old eyes open and looked into utter perfection. Icy blue eyes, pale white skin, and beautiful blonde hair the glowed in the darkness. "I'm going to take you away from it all, Matty." I reached out to touch him, my hand closing on nothing. My strength gave out and I gave up, my life leaving me in the harsh cold of the December storm.

He never came.


End file.
